I suddenly understand what Colleen was feeling when all her garden got paint all over it, and a bunch of her plants died,
and i just
don’t know what to do,
I’ve been having these really intense 8 hour long dizzy spells, and my bike broke, so I haven’t been able to get to my garden,
and when I called my parents to ask them to water them, they didn’t do it, they waited until today, which was the day I was going to come anyway, and now everything is dead, and i don’t know what to do.
It’s not fair that I had to wait 6 hours at the hospital, just for them to tell me I was “next in line”, and then still see nobody for the next 40 minutes. I had to leave because I was too tired and angry to even be able to deal with a doctor at that point,
and it’s not fucking fair that I have to go to the hospital all the time because I have to wait until everything gets to a point of emergency because my family doctor is a stuck up homophobic ignorant cissexist, and nobody is taking new patients.
i don’t know what to do if I get dizzy again, because it’s so bad I can’t work,
but I have no time to go to the hospital, this was the only time I could possibly do it, I have so much to do all the time, and we’re shortstaffed at work, and i swear to god they’re just going to send me home and say “Well, if it happens again, come back,” when THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT, IT KEEPS HAPPENING, AND I CAN’T EVEN WORK THROUGH IT, I AM INCAPACITATED.
And I am just sobbing, because the only fucking thing I cared about, the only thing that keeps me sane, has now been partially destroyed,
and I might not have half the things I planted,
and the tobacco that was so hard to germinate, and I used up all the seeds is probably beyond reviving,
and my mom feels like it’s probably hormones, and she’s acting like I should KNOW what this is
and I don’t, and I just broke down, and screamsobbed,
and i don’t have a bike, and I have so much to do that I don’t have time for,
and I got half an hour of sleep, and that’s not okay.