Dick Parts

I'm Rhube.
I like plants and friends and cats and hair.
v gay, v sick, v opinionated

@ScaryFag on Twitter and Instagram

p much my whole life can be boiled down to the identity “Bourgeois Gay Stoner”

July 31, 2014 @ 1:52 AM 4 notes

serious question: is it possible to have too many florals?

July 31, 2014 @ 1:09 AM 7 notes

one time i went to punk rock bingo with my brother and his girlfriend and we won so many games that they had to tell us to stop winning bc people thought it was set up, so we didn’t call out two more bingos

but we won so many things, and one of the things was a plain cheesecake that we really wanted, and some guy drove us to a 24hour Metro, and we bought pie filling in a can, and that’s how i found out pie fillings come in cans, bc i always just was a sucker and made my own fillings

but then we didn’t have a can opener, so we opened it in the parking lot with a tire iron, and put it all on the top of the cake, and then ate it right out of the pan with plastic forks, and it was so Important and Victorious

July 30, 2014 @ 11:33 PM 17 notes

holy shit i am making brownies

July 30, 2014 @ 11:25 PM 7 notes

[tw: drugs]

i smoked a weed drug and then ended up with a credit card with a Very High Limit, and significantly less hair on my head,

and then i celebrated my new credit card by buying 3 kinds of weed,

and then i spent 20 minutes in my dealer’s car talking about boys and watching videos of his dog, and now he’s gonna bring his dog next time i’m buying,

i feel like my life is taking weird turns right now

July 30, 2014 @ 10:10 PM 6 notes

rhubarbrastreisand:

[tw: drugs]

Help I got high then went to pick up money for rent, and now they have me signing papers for a new credit card, how did this happen, all I wanted was to get rent money, and a Frappuccino

God damn though
Economics make so much more sense when I’m high

July 30, 2014 @ 12:33 PM 7 notes

[tw: drugs]

Help I got high then went to pick up money for rent, and now they have me signing papers for a new credit card, how did this happen, all I wanted was to get rent money, and a Frappuccino

July 30, 2014 @ 12:30 PM 7 notes

(Source: gayonetta, via spectretloak)

July 30, 2014 @ 1:38 AM 3,349 notes

daniel got me really in to Magic, but i only have 1 deck, and only have him to play with

July 30, 2014 @ 1:25 AM 5 notes

“LISTEN TO THIS PAULA ABDUL SAMPLE”

a thing i yelled during sex last night??
July 30, 2014 @ 1:18 AM 9 notes

i feel like i have to make a special saxifraged appreciation post for all the A+ comments he leaves on my posts

fricker

July 30, 2014 @ 12:35 AM 1 note

jesse was late for his own show last week because he was painting his nails, i am not even kidding you right now

July 30, 2014 @ 12:29 AM 4 notes

the fact that i will scowl at a baby and criticize them for being smelly, but i will look at my cat, and say “hey smelly li’l guy. why are you so smelly? do you have poop stuck in your fur? aw, my smelly guy,” and literally remove feces from his butt and then tell him how much i adore him says a lot about who i am

July 29, 2014 @ 10:54 PM 18 notes

[tw: drugs]

uuuuuugh i only have like, 1 gram of regular weed left, so i’ve been using the good weed, and it makes me 100% useless,
like, i would not be able to work while smoking this weed. i can barely exist at all on this weed. omg

July 29, 2014 @ 9:44 PM 3 notes

heatoise:

*sees a dog*

me: nice

*PETS a dog*

me: NICE

(via wheretheoscarwildethingsare)

July 29, 2014 @ 9:34 PM 38,585 notes